A Sudden Relapse.
I thought that I was doing just fine, having adapted after much time to my new state of being. My youngest son was still at home and in need from time to time of his mother (for food, laundry and all the important periphery things a young man needs to keep his hectic life going!). My husband was here at my side to support me with my attack of the collywobbles while my oldest was away, and so life goes on. It is funny though how things can change in an instant, and one’s life is abruptly turned upside-down, and that was what happened to me this past Saturday.
The phone rang it was my son. He phoned ostensibly to let me know his whereabouts, since he had been continually on the move. However, I discerned a note of sadness in his voice and suddenly my whole body was on alert. We talked of nothing, I just wanting to keep him on the phone to learn more, trying subtly to draw him out so I could find out what was going on. Men on the whole are not forthcoming, whether it be good news or not, and I know my son was reluctant to ever admit that he was not enjoying himself. On the one hand he did not want to hurt my feelings since we had gone to great expense to make his trip possible and he knew that any admission of wanting to come home would make me worry, and on the other it was a matter of pride to tell me that he was capable of being away from home without whining about loneliness and any such other stuff. However it was there, I could hear it and my heart was breaking.
After almost 2 months the traveling was starting to wear thin, and without close friends at his side he was definitely feeling alone. The weather was terrible and so he was unable to go out and occupy his mind with activities that would leave him tired by the time he got back to his hostel. I could imagine him looking out at the rain and wondering how to pass the time, feeling a little homesick. What could I do? So far away, I wanted to just rush out and in some way be able to hold him and tell him everything would be all right. As it was I could only talk to him and tell him that his father would be in New Zealand in 4 weeks to see him. He seemed cheered by this thought and then blurted out that he definitely wanted to come home with his Dad until his course started there in January. I was now on high, high alert. After his call I was on the phone to friends, did they know any young kids in Queenstown, when were their kids headed down that way, etc. etc? A better sheepdog you could not find! And I did not find much, but I had done the best I could. I text him just to keep in touch and let him know I was thinking of him…obsessing over him in truth.
And what do you know on Sunday he called and I could tell that he was over the moon with excitement. He had met some people and they had told him about the Kiwi Experience Tour where it seemed everybody for the most part was both young and traveling alone! He was off immediately to buy his ticket and that…he might need a little extra money. Extra money, of course how much and when. I was just so relieved; I would have given him any amount he had asked for, though in reality we could not afford much! Fortunately he only asked for an additional $200. He had it all worked out, he was sorry he couldn’t talk for long because the ticket office was closing and he needed to get there quickly and then he was off out with his new friends before catching the bus early the next morning.
What can I say? I felt like a ton of bricks had just fallen off my back. I was so relieved and so proud all at the same time! He was happy and more to the point he had taken it upon himself to try and solve his problem. He had asked to switch rooms in his hostel to try and meet more people, and lo and behold that is how he met up with these new friends. He is learning such invaluable lessons – that life is not always fun even when you are on an adventure, and that sometimes to make things happen you have to take the initiative and give life a kick start in the right direction. I have been dancing in my mind ever since, smiling as I think of him and emailing my friends that the calamity is now over, the alarm bells are off and that this neurotic woman is on an even keel again. Please tell me I am not the only mother to feel this way!!
1 comment October 7th, 2008